As someone who has never known that feeling of a “safety-net” until recently, I have the habit of putting immense pressure on myself. For me there has never been the option to fail.
This results in the habit of doing “too much”.
Overdoing things can lead to tiredness and even potential burn out. When exhausted, negativity has a way of creeping in and any sense of mindfulness goes out of the window.
The great Rupaul will often lecture the Drag Queen contestants on her show about the harmful effects of ones ‘Inner Self Saboteur’. That sabotaging bitch can rule you and me if we let it…
I am constantly self-inflicting pressure on myself. I always feel the need to achieve and get things done.
Below are 6 ways that I try to manage these feelings.
1. DO NOT START THE DAY BY MAKING A TO-DO LIST
My first thoughts upon waking up are that there are many things I HAVE to do. But the truth is, many of them can wait. I have to take a step back and remind myself that nobody is going to die if I do XYZ… Of course there are times where things do have to get done. Things such as paying a bill on time or buying groceries so there is food to eat. But things like “paint my nails” or “download a podcast” aren’t going to lead to any reprimand-able circumstances if I don’t do them. And somedays, it’s perfectly fine to have nothing to do.
2. REMEMBER THAT THERE ARE ONLY SO MANY HOURS IN A DAY
My self-advocating voice is constantly reminding me that “Rome wasn’t built in a day”.
I have to remember that some things are impossible. You can’t write a 500 page novel in a space of a day or build an entire successful million dollar making business in one day! Great accomplishments take time. Otherwise they would not feel that rewarding.
3. TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND THINK ABOUT WHAT TRULY IS IMPORTANT IN LIFE
As someone who knows what it’s like to be homeless and have nothing, I sometimes have to take some deep breaths and pause. I have to stop thinking about making enough money to make sure I never end up in that position again and remember how little you actually need to be happy in life. Long term happiness will never come from a bank account, it will come from the people you fill your life with.
4. LIVE IN THE PRESENT
I’m a planner. But I know the infamous saying… and 2020 really proved this saying to be true #coronabide!
What joy would we ever experience in life if we just kept looking ahead to ten years time? When our business is successful or the mortgage is paid off? Joy comes from living and being awake in the present. So take a break from working and do something fun with family or friends. Make memories today. Do you want to sit in the house of your dreams in years to come and not have any recollections other than working and being alone for many years? Who’s to say you can’t have it all? I believe you can.
5. STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS
It’s all one big rat race eh? Well actually NO it isn’t. You can’t compare yourself to anyone else because chances are you haven’t lived the exact same life as someone else. You may look similar or have similar goals and walk almost identical paths to try to get there, but you have no idea what they have encountered along the way.
6. GET OFF SOCIAL MEDIA
I write about this a lot, about how social media makes us feel negatively about ourselves. Social media is full of people claiming that their lives are perfect and one big ride of just happy times. I call bull. Life is life. There are ups and there are downs. So if you can’t scroll through people’s social posts and remember that you’re not seeing the full picture, take a break and get off the social channels.
So take pressure off yourself. It’s ok to take a break from being a go-getter and ambition. We live to live! Don’t constantly burden yourself with a to-do list. One saying is definitely true, you can’t get back time…
I hope this helped you in some way on your journey of mindfulness. Please leave a comment below if you wish to share any thoughts. For more mental health posts click here.
As always,
Live with Love,
The Bimbo in Limbo xxxx
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9 Comments
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Comments are closed.So many great insights in this post! I especially enjoyed the part about stopping the comparison and remembering what’s truly important in life. I changed my life two years ago and do the opposite of what society expects from us. It is easy to fall into the comparison mode, but the only thing you’ll get from that, is anxiety and peer pressure. Staying true to yourself and remembering your ‘why’ is what will allow you to persevere in the end. Thank you for your fresh perspective in bringing these essential d topics to light! Love, Susanne
Love the post! Sometimes we really need to stop pressuring ourselves and just live a little and enjoy life.
Emily, what a lovely list. I absolutely like your the one about stop comparing yourself to others! Fab!
Your first point shocked me because I write a to-do list every morning. But, you’re right. It is perfectly okay to do nothing on days where there isn’t anything that needs to be done. That’s something I need to learn.
Yes!!! I’m the same! I have 5 different lists nearly every day. But we have to remember they are things we “choose” to do not “have” to! Xxxx
Oh man…these are great ideas, and I have a lot of work to do, because I do all of these things!
I cannot imagine life without a to do list, but you are right it does lead to a lot of pressure. I will use your other suggestions to minimize pressure.
I love making to-do lists!!! But I have started doing it less than before. I only do it when I have a ton of things to do and they are very important. Otherwise no.
So, so important! People need to take it easy on themselves.