It’s OK to Talk to Someone for your Mental Health

The British Stigma around Mental Health…

Ever since I was a young child, I was encouraged to help the Homeless in anyway I could. Buy them a cup of tea, give them a blanket, take them food or even leave a few quid in their cup. I also spent Christmas in a Homeless Shelter in Brighton feeding those less-fortunate albeit and lost-souls their Turkey dinner. I remember asking why most of them were men in their thirties. I was to learn many of them had gone to war. The majority had been fighting in the Falklands. And when they returned they were just left to deal with everything, all of the horrors they had been forced to live through. Once returned, having done duty for their country, they weren’t offered anyone to “talk” with. They weren’t allowed to consider ones “mental health” or prioritize “self care”. They had to be men- British ones at that- and just carry bloody on.

I can’t help but wonder that if there had been more help (in the form of therapy) offered, would they have been in a better circumstance? And would there be less of a homeless population?

Sometimes we just need a little reassurance that we are going to be ok and that we are capable of surviving rough waters. As sometimes we lose self-belief.

When I moved to America all I heard from everyone was “Therapy this and therapy that”. Whether it was a friend becoming a therapist or just a friend talking to someone about their woes of not finding their soul mate. It seemed that EVERYONE was talking to SOMEONE about their lives. My initial reaction was why do I need to pay to talk to someone when I have good friends that I can whittle on to? Isn’t that what they are for?

And then I got hit by a car. I was lucky, it wasn’t a tragic event. Minor in comparison to some stories. And yet it caused me to have PTSD. I spent many nights not sleeping. Having nightmares about being hit by busses of all things. I would get so upset whenever I tried to cross the street at cars that didn’t stop before the lines. I became angry at the thought that there was a huge lack of compassion in the world and sometimes it seemed everyone was only thinking about themselves.

My physio-therapist who was helping me with my ‘physical’ injuries recommended that I speak to someone about this event. After lots of persuasion, I decided to give it a go.

And… It helped.

It was nice to be able to say the things out loud that I was worried about saying. It was nice to hear some reassurance that I wasn’t crazy for waking up in cold sweats every night after being involved in a hit and run.

After three of four sessions, I realized why I was processing things the way I was and most importantly, I felt supported.

When our lives changed over night in 2020, suddenly it wasn’t just America talking about mental health being a priority, it seemed the UK had woken up to this fact too.

Whenever I click on social media I am seeing more and more Brits open up and talk about their personal struggles of coping with what has been one hell of a year. And sometimes they downplay it and other times it’s as if they feel ashamed of these feelings. The feelings of panic, worry and anxiety.

If you are a Brit reading this – don’t do that!

We are raised with the belief that we have stiff upper lips and can laugh anything that happens to us off. But the truth is, when we do this, we are only suppressing how we truly feel. All the hurt, the fear and our frustrations.

So if you need to talk to someone- do it! Or at least give it a try!

My only advice there is to make sure that when you are talking to someone, be sure they are listening more than they are talking. I have a friend who’s every sentence used to be “My therapist told me to do this, my therapist told me I must do that”. Nope. That’s a bad therapy session… I mean he got a large divorce settlement thanks to these sessions but I’m not sure if he got his sanity. I witnessed a few public meltdowns as a result of acting on someone elses behalf!

Anyway, don’t feel any shame or guilt in wanting to talk to someone.

It can really help.

As always,

Live with Love,

The Bimbo in Limbo xxxx

If you are in the UK and feeling depressed or anxious;

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/free-therapy-or-counselling/

If you are in the USA and feeling depressed or anxious;

https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline

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